Tuesday, 5 July 2011

Caffe Nero

I like Caffe Nero - or some of them. The new one in town is in a good location and is nicely decorated. Nero's coffee is OK - my expectations are pretty low 9 years after leaving Auckland with it's fantastic coffee culture. So I was in yesterday and got a little card inviting me to do a survey. I wouldn't normally bother, but they were offering a chance to win free coffee for a year.

So I filled in the survey which has some mental questions like: "did the barista serve you with pride". How the fuck should I know? And especially in this country where shop drones generally hate their jobs, and hate talking to people. The guy talked to me, and seemed less than averagely surly. Does that translate into pride? Can one feel pride working as a coffee machine operator for a huge chain, wearing a cheap company teeshirt, and earning minimum wage? Could I? Doubt it, Harry.

Anyway I got through and was dumped on the Nero homepage. Here it says
"Caffè Nero Group Ltd was founded in 1997 and is currently the largest independent coffee retailer in the UK, with over 400 stores in the UK."
What does it mean to be independent when you are one of the largest chains in the country?Independent of what, or from whom? Is this English idiom, or is it business jargon? Anyway I'm not impressed. The words "independent" and "over 400 stores" cancel each other out. They're just a large coffee retailer, with all that this implies. But I will drink a shit load of coffee if I win the prize.

2 comments:

Pandora said...

Thanks for giving me a laugh today :) "Pride" in being a "barista"? What the actual fuck?

Still, at least they're not Starbucks: Nero can make something that vaguely approximates coffee, rather than some milky shite that's got a drop of dark stuff in it.

I hope you win the competition...and I hope they see this post ;) You've hit the nail right on the head re: all their business-ese :)

Big Mouth said...

Hey Pandora

I don't get many comments. Thanks!