The Virtue of Modesty

I've been listening to a woman on the radio who is a Muslim convert. She waxed lyrical about wearing a hijab and long dress which hide her whole body. "It's liberating", she said, "because as a woman you are judged so much on how you look". Fine I can understand that to some extent - men stare at women, and sometimes say things or worse (though certainly not that much where I live). But then she described the experience of wearing the hijab in public: she is regularly shouted and jeered at, insulted to her face, and spat at. Her children suffer the same. She has to be careful about where she goes because some places she is more likely to encounter that kind of hostility.

So this I don't understand. In what sense is she more liberated wearing clothing that attracts active violent hostility, than wearing modest western clothing which I imagine would not stand out, and not attract attention? Why choose to stand out in the crowd by dressing like an Arab, when plain clothes would be a far better way of staying incognito? An undercover cop takes off the uniform in order to blend in! She hasn't thought it through. If you dress to attract attention then that is vanity - whether you are showing off your body or your religion.

I've every sympathy with people practising their religion, though I'm not convinced by Western Muslims who want to look Arab, or Western Buddhists who want to look Asian, or Western Hindus who want to look Indian. If you dress different you attract attention. Religious people often remind me of people with tattoos. People with tattoos often walk around in clothing that shows their tattoo off. People with religious piety want everyone to know, which is in fact impious generally speaking. The whole point of the hijab is modesty. But it's modesty according to medieval Arab dress codes, not 21st century England, so it stands out like dogs balls!

I don't think that having chosen to mark yourself out as different you have much right to complain about being treated differently. You've stated your intention. Yet this woman was in tears because of it. I don't for a minute condone boorish or violent behaviour in others. Ideally we should be tolerant and accepting of difference, but the reality is that most people aren't. Yes, they are ignorant and stupid. But why bait them? If you bait an ignorant bully, you generally are asking for a punch in the stomach. That is also a form of ignorance and stupidity. In order not to attract attention one keeps one head down, one doesn't shout "look at me!"

I actually wish more women would dress modestly. It's horrible seeing all that flesh, the constant sexual stimulation and no outlet for me. Women simply do not look at me any more, but especially young women who dress to emphasise their erogenous zones. They seek to stimulate sexual desire in men, but at the same time complain about being seen as 'mere' sex-objects. I don't think women's liberation was all about women being able to dress like hookers, and star in their own porn movies. It was about (on balance at least) having equal dignity and respect, equal rights. So sorry, but if you dress like a hooker then I do not respect you for your intelligence because that is not what you are communicating. I don't like seeing men walking around with their shirts off either, or their trousers falling down. It is all saying "I don't give a shit about you or what you think, I'm going to do whatever I like and you can fuck off". And that is antisocial. So yeah, I do have a great deal of sympathy with those religious people who wish that everyone would think about the impact their choices make on others, and I am in favour of modesty as a virtue - in men and women!! But modesty means not attracting attention. The hijab cannot help but attract attention in Britain. Wearing a hijab in Britain you are never going to blend in. It is vain and immodest and stupid. Dress like a stereotypical librarian or a middle-aged woman - no one shouts abuse at them, because no one notices them (which is the whole point of modesty).