Appealing

So I'm in the middle of moving house. But I'm also in the middle of being reassessed for benefits. Last year, after I appealed with the help of the Citizen's Advice Bureau I was placed in the Support Group for Employment and Support Allowance, and I thought that would give me some breathing space.

But the joke was on me and now a year later I'm going through it again.

I filled out my ESA50 as required and sent it off. The WCA I had feared did not eventuate, but the decision came with no indication of why the decision had been made. I was put back into the Work realted Activity Group and lost £35 per week in ESA payments.

Now the WRAG has nothing to offer me that would help me get back into work. I have long term mental health problems that have dogged me for 30 years now (if not longer) and fibromyalgia which is probably not unrelated. If I could chose to receive any kind of help it would be some kind of treatment to relieve my symptoms in a way that did not leave me with debilitating side-effects. So being in the WRAG is completely pointless. I know how to write a letter on a word processor.


CAB tell me that I need to include a letter from my doctor with my appeal. My Doctor tells me that "the agency" has told GPs not to write such letters.

I have a month to appeal. I had to ring the DWP to get an outline of why the decision had been reversed ("a copy of the medical report" they call it). I called on 16th July. I rang them today the 29th and they could not tell me why the report had not been forwarded to me.

I have asked to be referred to the NHS counciling service. But there is a 6 page form to fill in before they even decide whether I'm elligible. That's enough to send me first into a panic and then into inertial.

I'm in the middle of a stressful move from a hostile home situation and trying to find a place and convince landlords that I'll pay the rent. Every ad I answer says "no DSS" but since they are the only ads I apply anyway and just lie. Fuck em. I will be paying my rent on time.

I registered for council housing but I have zero chance of getting anything from them. Even I was evicted and in danger of homelessness I'd just end up in a hostle for homeless men. Surrounded by down and outs and booze and street drugs. Which is the last thing I need. So I perservere with  house hunting and hope that the advice I got from the council guy about Housing and Council Tax Benefit is accurate.

I'm trying to do all this in a house full of people who don't like me which is triggering all kinds of shit. I'm toting up symptoms and concluding that I'm already clinically depressed. So do I submit to anti-depressants again? And the pressure feels like it's building. One day I'm going to find myself smashing shit up and screaming at the top of my lungs at some poor unsuspecting bastard who'll be frightened out of their wits. Then what?

I'm so fucking tired.