Digestion

I can confirm that Boot's fig syrup with Senna extra is a prodigious laxative.

The Problem of Overview

My health problems cover many areas.

• I suffer from anxiety, and from mood problems - dysthimia or depression.
• I have fibro-myalgia - widespread pain, fatigue, and difficulty concentration.
• I have recently been diagnosed with a hiatus hernia and have complications from that - difficulty and pain swallowing, constant indigestion and acid reflux (sometimes accompanied by intense pain).

So I went to the doctor today to say that the treatment for the swallowing problem and eventually got referred back to the Gastro-enterologist. But part of my problem is that I'm in pain all the time and I have been taking Non-stroidal Anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAID).

Now NSAIDs reduce the ability to protect the stomach lining from acid, and exacerbates acid reflux. So I've had to stop taking them. Which means I'm experiencing more pain. I can take less powerful NSAIDs (codiene/paracetamol) but it doesn't work that well. I need help with pain management, and I'm thinking of paying for a pain management course because the NHS does not seem to offer non-drug pain management. I can use my TENS machine, but it's expensive and not always effective.

All of this is making me pretty anxious about my health. I no longer take anxiety or depression drugs, and I try to manage without.

The GP manages to just about deal with the eosophagus problems, by getting me a referral. She glosses over the pain control problen, reassures me about the NSAIDs (I'm worried about my liver). But she doesn't really address my anxiety or mood, or overall pain problem at all. My quality of life is sucking at present. And no one amongst my medical support people have an overview of my health - not even my GP who is the generalist. The specialists only deal with problems in isolation - the are not able to link anxiety, FM, and other problems. So it's up to me to have my own overview, but I'm not in a good position to do that. I'm intelligent enough to understand medical jargon and concepts (I have a degree in science) but I don't have the resources and I don't have the emotional robustness.

Government delays Welfare Reform Bill

The Government has been forced to delay the 2nd Reading of the flagship Bill in the Lords due to peers' concerns over the people affected.

DWP is suggesting other business has blocked progress but the surprise postponement till September from Tues will also give the Government time to lobby peers and answer the queries raised in DA's legal challenge.

from Disability Alliance, via Benefit Scrounging Scum.

And by Sunday 17th if I hadn't read this on BSS I would not have known about it, because it has not been reported in the mainstream media!

TENS

Ahhh. I got out my TENS (Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation) machine again the other day and wired myself up for a couple of hours. This is a very useful form of pain relief. I find if I leave it on for a hour or two I get lasting relief from aches and pains. I got mine from Boots - it was on special because they were updating the old model. The new ones are expensive. Pads for it don't last very long, and they cost about £7, so overall it's not cheap. But when you've maxed out the your paracetamol or other painkillers for the day, or like me you are starting to get stomach problems from your NSAIDs, and you need a bit more relief, then this is that something extra that has no evil side-effects.

Shaw on Money

This quote is from a play by George Bernard Shaw Major Barbara, and it seems to sum up the Tory attitude quite well. It appears that Shaw did not intend this comment ironically and the protagonist of the play wrestles with her conscience of taking money from morally dubious sources for use in charitable work. In the preface he earnestly explains that "they would take money from the devil himself and be only too glad to get it out of his hands and into God's". This passage is also taken from the preface - again via the Oxford Concise Dictionary of Quotations.

"The universal regard for money is the one hopeful fact in our civilisation, the one sound spot in our social conscience. Money is the most important thing in the world. It represents health, strength, honour, and beauty as conspicuously as the want of it represents illness, weakness, disgrace, meanness, and ugliness."

This could be read different ways, but I think the way that Tories read this is that poor people are a disgrace to themselves, not to the nation; that poverty is a product of laziness and weakness on the part of the poor. That is to say that the Tories blame the victims of greed and oppression for being poor and downtrodden.

We can see that this underlying view is moderated to some extent by the liberal zeitgeist, but they're like racists that have learned to hold their tongues in public for fear of disapproval, but in private still find foreigners hateful (and their is a lot more of this here than anyone is admitting).

So being ill, and poor, and requiring support, is not a situation which stirs the Tory heart, the way that it moves the Left. The Right would gladly sacrifice the weak few to make the many stronger. They probably would not put it in these terms, but it's what it boils down to. To the right self-sufficiency is the highest good. To have to pay taxes to support the weak is something they oppose in their bones. This is partly why they wish to privatise everything. For private companies and the competition of the markets represent to them the apotheosis of the Darwinian view of evolution - privatisation, be weeding out the weaker members of the species, by preventing them from reproducing, makes the species stronger. Sadly they don't seem to have updated their ideas about evolution since Darwin and the Victorians. They certainly haven't read any Lynn Margulis for instance. Competition always creates more losers than winners, by definition.

The right are also deeply influenced, it sees to me, by Ayn Rand's ideology of rejecting altruism and embracing selfishness. If only, she said, everyone rationally pursued their self interest, the the maximum Good would be produced. And her ideas where enthusiastically taken up by economists who are the only people in the world who still believe in human beings making rational decisions! The trouble is we aren't rational beings, and she certainly wasn't. Given the disastrous results of the "greed is good" view of life, it is surprising that anyone at all believes in it. Markets and competition produce one or only a handful of winners, and a large number of losers. Is this not a summary of the credit crisis we're currently in. No bankers have gone to prison for defrauding us; a few people have been enriched to an astonishing degree and most of us are worse off and will being paying for it the rest of our lives. In fact those greedy people are the weakest members of our species because they endanger the many, they impoverish the many, they degrade our societies and communities. We need to weed them out, and suppress their regrowth. They are parasites, feeding on our blood. We need to think more in terms of balancing cooperation with competition. Cooperation means we all win. Competition only allows for one winner in each race.

Unfortunately the people in government are not vulnerable to poverty, and never have been because they increasingly from backgrounds of hereditary privilege . They have enough money and assets already to never have to work again and still live comfortable. They'll pass that on to their children along with introductions into positions of power. And they are dismantling the system which might counteract that, which might democratise education. Britain's brief flirtation with a meritocracy, which allowed leaders like Margaret Thatcher to rise to power from humble beginnings, seems to be over. Money makes the world go around for these people. Money is the most important thing. And not having it, or relying on handouts is once more coming to be seen as morally reprehensible.

I don't want to advocate violence, but I think the world would be a different place if Cameron could just be viciously mugged and beaten, or have his home burgled. Maybe then he'd have a sense of powerlessness and vulnerability for a moment. The fucker is so thick skinned though that one wonders what it would take for him to empathise with someone dependent on welfare. Let him contract a wasting disease while still in office and have to resign to a life of doctors visits, humiliating tests, drugs with unpleasant side-effects. Let him be incontinent, or unable to feed himself. Let him suffer a mental breakdown. I don't exactly wish this on him, but how else is he really going to understand what effect his policies have on the rest of us?

Health

So, my stomach problems turned out to be a hiatus hernia. But now I'm getting complications - constant indigestion, difficulty swallowing, and discomfort shading into pain in my throat. We're working on the theory that it's my oesophagus being irritated and going into a spasm. So beefing up the proton-pump inhibitors and gaviscon for a bit to see if that helps. But it all seems to be getting worse at the moment.

I'm constantly tired and while not house bound, I'm not able to get out very much. A longish walk in the weekend and I'm still recovering! A symptom of fibromyalgia. I wake up stiff and aching, and not feeling refreshed. I read, write a bit, get bored, watch TV, and wonder whether this life is really worth persevering with.

It's all very frustrating. And meanwhile I wait for the axe to fall on my welfare payments. Like others I'm not sure how I'll cope. Is anyone really interested in employing a 45 year old, with multiple mental and physical health issues? Is there any job I could even do? Honestly I find it hard to imagine.

Big Lies

Who said this?

Die breitte Masse eines Volkes.... einer grossen Lüge leichter zum Opfer fällt als einer kleiner.

The broad mass of a nation... will more easily fall victim to a big lie than to a small one.

Answer. Adolf Hitler. Mein Kampf. 1.x (via the Concise Oxford Dictionary of Quotations - I haven't been reading Mein Kampf!)

I was immediately struck by the press releases from the Government since they took office. So many big lies. Perhaps the most relevant one here is that people who receive welfare payments are greedy, lazy, deceptive, and basically criminal. This particular big lie has worked better than some of the others because there has not been a media outcry over this lie, whereas other lies have met considerable resistance.

Corruption in medical research.

Psychiatrists Who Accepted Millions of Dollars from Drug Companies Now Face Restrictions

Three child psychiatrists at Massachusetts General Hospital and Harvard Medical School who pioneered the diagnosis of bipolar disorder in young children failed to disclose that they had accepted millions in fees from drugs companies, Mass General’s investigation, which concluded Friday, has found. The three are now barred from participating in non-research activities sponsored by the pharmaceutical industry for a year, among other restrictions.

via 80beats.

Well that will learn them... NOT

British Media

Hear that sound, news media?

That is the sound of inevitability

(and I don't think you'll manage to dodge it like Neo did).

Melancholia

Via Neuroskeptic, from the British Journal of Psychiatry:

Melancholia - in 100 words

Max Fink and Michael A. Taylor

Melancholia is a classical episodic depressive disorder that combines mood, psychomotor, cognitive and vegetative components with high suicide risk. In the present psychiatric classification it is buried as a modifier in both bipolar and unipolar depressions. It is hardly used to characterise patients in the clinic or research. The syndrome is frequently recognised in delusional and agitated depression, and in the elderly. Cortisol or sleepEEG abnormalities are prognostically helpful. Melancholia is particularly responsive to tricyclic antidepressants and electroconvulsive therapy but not to selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors or psychotherapy. Recognising melancholia as a distinct disorder improves clinical care and research.

Fibromyalgia Awareness Week, Sept 4-11

www.fibromyalgia-associationuk.org

Caffe Nero

I like Caffe Nero - or some of them. The new one in town is in a good location and is nicely decorated. Nero's coffee is OK - my expectations are pretty low 9 years after leaving Auckland with it's fantastic coffee culture. So I was in yesterday and got a little card inviting me to do a survey. I wouldn't normally bother, but they were offering a chance to win free coffee for a year.

So I filled in the survey which has some mental questions like: "did the barista serve you with pride". How the fuck should I know? And especially in this country where shop drones generally hate their jobs, and hate talking to people. The guy talked to me, and seemed less than averagely surly. Does that translate into pride? Can one feel pride working as a coffee machine operator for a huge chain, wearing a cheap company teeshirt, and earning minimum wage? Could I? Doubt it, Harry.

Anyway I got through and was dumped on the Nero homepage. Here it says

"Caffè Nero Group Ltd was founded in 1997 and is currently the largest independent coffee retailer in the UK, with over 400 stores in the UK."

What does it mean to be independent when you are one of the largest chains in the country?Independent of what, or from whom? Is this English idiom, or is it business jargon? Anyway I'm not impressed. The words "independent" and "over 400 stores" cancel each other out. They're just a large coffee retailer, with all that this implies. But I will drink a shit load of coffee if I win the prize.

Stomach problems.

So I looked back on my posts and see that I haven't mentioned my stomach problems. About 3 or 4 months ago I had an attack of chest pain that was frightening. It started off a bit like heart burn, but it kept getting worse until I was in a panic. The NHS direct person, asked me all the heart attack questions, ascertained that my life wasn't in danger, and talked me down. After about 3 hours in total the pain eased off and I felt OK.

Then more recently I had another attack that again was very painful and frightening. This time I got to the limit I could bare and it kept getting worse. One of the MEBs called NHS Direct who then sent an ambulance. The paramedics checked me out and once again ascertained it wasn't life threatening and suggested going to the late night doctor - not to A&E because it can take many hours to be treated there.

Cut a long story short I kept having minor attacks and the doctor sent me to the specialist, who ordered some tests. The ultrasound showed no all stones. The next one was a gastroscopy. I knew this would be stressful, but getting someone to go with me seemed even more stressful, so I elected not to have sedation. I took some valium in the morning, thinking it would take the end of anxiety. This was foolish in retrospect. A gastroscopy is a very invasive procedure. My body rebelled and was actively trying to expel the scope throughout the whole 5 minutes. By the end I was in shock and non-responsive. It took a while to come around, and if I bring it to mind I can feel the panic starting all over again!

The moral of the story is that if anyone ever offers me sedation for a medical procedure then I should definitely accept.

The upshot is that I have a hiatus hernia - the sphincter at the top of my stomach doesn't close properly and part of my stomach is protruding up through it (or something like that). Stomach acid is leaking into my oesophagus, and the intense burning pain is the result. There was also bile in my stomach, but I put this down to my gut going into drastic reverse with the tube down my throat.

Treatment is Proton-pump Inhibitors (stomach acid suppressant) and Gaviscon^®. My problem is that I also take anti-inflammatory drugs for chronic pain. These drugs suppress the body's inflammation response, but problematically this is the same response that protects the stomach lining from acid - this exacerbates the problem by making my stomach more sensitive to irritation.

The maxim of the British people is 'Business as usual'.

- Winston Churchill, Guildhall, 9 Nov 1914.

We're doomed.

They're saying that Prince Charles pissed Tony Blair off with his interfering. I like Charles for having pissed of architects who make ugly buildings, and even more now that I've learned that he got up Blair's nose. Yay Charles!

In other political news in a leaked memo Eric Pickles has warned the current Prime Minister that welfare reforms could make 40,000 people homeless, and ultimately cost more money than they save. Some sense slipping through the blitzkrieg of propaganda from IDS's DWP.

One wag on the Guardian website has suggested the homeless move into vacated Habitat and Thortons. Habitat is already furnished as another commenter points out, though they doubt the homeless folk would appreciate the class of furniture in that now insolvent business. Both commentators seem to have forgotten that the government has just decided to make squatting illegal, so moving into unoccupied building is not on the cards. Besides have you seen the red tape involved in housing here? Hundred's of years of unscrupulous landlords have left the housing market massively over-regulated and hostile to most of their tenants. I was aghast to learn that you almost never get your bond back in this country if you're renting. In NZ you almost always get it back.

They just don't have a clue, do they? If ever there was an example of a university graduate being full of themselves, filled with theories and ideologies, but no practical understanding of how anything works it's David Cameron. He just has no idea what he's doing, no idea how to run the country or the economy. And, lord save us, the opposition are no better.

We're doomed! We really are doomed. Unless maybe Charles get's stuck into IDS and the ConDem coalition: "I say! Leave one's fucking people alone, you monstrous carbuncle!" (in my dreams, eh).

Chuggers

I think I've written before about how and why I hate chuggers. The (southern) English norm is not to talk to strangers, not even to make eye contact. Walk around a typical urban mall (pronounced to rhyme with 'well') and you see a lot of people milling around like they're the only person there, carefully avoiding the human shaped objects in their path - and if you do happen to come to another persons attention, by being tripped over or run into, then the thing to do is apologise. I've started doing this! In shops the people behind the tills are like this as well - they'd rather not be talking to you most of the time. England is the ideal place for self-service checkouts. I've had conversations with strangers here, but not with English people, only with Kiwis, Aussies, Yanks, and more recently a Thai student.

What's more I'm 45 and chronically ill, so I don't look very attractive to a 20-something, and the young women especially just don't see me any more. It's one of the things about getting older, and I can see why men my age sometimes go wild and have a crisis! For myself I'm heading towards conscious celibacy, but that's another story.

Chuggers break these rules. They approach strangers in the street. Not only do they break the rules, but they employ very clumsy and obvious ruses. The men are suddenly a long lost friend, very pleased to see you. The women are similar except some of them flirt at the same time.

You see English people caught in this trap. Politeness dictates that when someone approaches you with this kind of ruse that you stop and make contact - they may need directions, or they may want to know the time. There's a tension because they may be a drug addict wanting "a pound for a cup of tea" (yeah, right!), but the chuggers are well dressed and smiling. Then they realise they've made a mistake and they can't be rude and just walk away, they have to explain why. It's not that English people are ungenerous. No. English people are incredibly generous and give huge amounts to charities, and the govt. has just committed to increase overseas aid at a time when it is slashing local spending. Often you'll hear the victim explaining that they support a number of charities already and I believe them.

Now a couple of days ago I was wandering home - tired, depressed, minding my own business (fitting in) - when a chugger approached me from behind. Normally I see them coming, make eye contact - I'm better than most English people at this game - firmly shake my head, and mouth the syllable "no". It works about 80% of the time. The more persistent chugger keeps on going like it's the most natural thing to talk to strangers, and that I seem like just the kind of person they want to talk to. But I give my initial response and just keep walking. Because under normal circumstances these scumbags wouldn't give me the time of day, let alone engage me in a pleasant conversation! But being approached from behind is something new. I had this young women tagging along behind me trying to get my attention. I'd seen her out of the corner of my eye as I'd left the shop, so I knew she was a chugger - fortunately they wear uniforms of a sort. So I just kept walking. I didn't want to talk to anyone, let along a chugger. And she kept it up, chasing me down the street for about 10 or 15 seconds. This is quite a long time if you think about it. If someone didn't answer their phone in this time, you'd think they weren't in and hang up. Then I didn't quite catch the parting comment, but the tone of voice was incredibly sarcastic. Like I was being an arsehole for not responding.

Chuggers: you guys are the arseholes. I hate been approached under false pretences, whether you be a junky, a politician or a charity worker. You don't want a chat, you don't think I'm interesting, you don't think I'm attractive, I'm not your mate. So please, cut the crap. Don't bullshit me. You approach me because you've done a calculation in your head that you might be able to get money out of me, and this is how you make your living. You are parasites on the generosity of other people. So just fuck off. If I was to give to charity it would be directly, bypassing the need for your salary to eat into my donation.